Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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