Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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