Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
