I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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