first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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