i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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