Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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