I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm jealous of your bromance
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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