she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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