Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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