did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
