Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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