So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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