glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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