We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
