apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
