I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
