just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize