Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
