I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
