I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
