I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
