I can text with my tongue
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
