check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
