i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
