if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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