the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
