ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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