Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize