Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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