I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
