You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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