Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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