I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
