Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
