i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
