the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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