Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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