omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The air was thick with penises
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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