why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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