Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I puked a lego.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
