A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
