Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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