sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
