does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
