sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
