im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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