Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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