my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
