i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
