The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I pour the whiskey from now on
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
