he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
