Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
