I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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