i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
